When I look back on my life, it’s not that I don’t want to see things exactly as they happened, it’s just that I prefer to remember them in an artistic way. And truthfully, the lie of it all is much more honest - because I invented it.

Clinical psychology tells us arguably that trauma is the ultimate killer. Memories are not recycled like atoms and particles in quantum physics; they can be lost forever. It’s sort of like my past is an unfinished painting and, as the artist of that painting, I must fill in all the ugly holes and make it beautiful again.

It’s not that I’ve been dishonest, it’s just that I loathe reality.

For example, those nurses – they’re wearing next season Calvin Klein, and so am I. And the shoes – custom Giuseppe Zanotti. I tipped their gauze caps to the side like Parisian berets, because I think it’s romantic, and I also believe that mint will be very big in fashion next Spring.

Check out this nurse on the right, she’s got a great ass. Bam.

The truth is, back then at the clinic, they only wore those funny hats to keep the blood out of their hair. And that girl on the left – she ordered gummy bears and a knife a couple of hours ago. They only gave her the gummy bears.

I’d wished they’d only given me the gummy bears.